Carroll offers, “Most alcoholics know places that don’t serve liquor—coffeehouses, museums.If you’re going out to dinner, it’s okay to wait till you arrive, and when the wine list arrives just say, ‘Nah, I don’t do that anymore.’ Do it casually; whether to go into greater detail or not really depends upon the relationship.”Amy, a 32-year-old stylist who lives in Manhattan and has been sober for 10 years, tells of romancing a particular “normie,” who turned out to be anything but.“If the sober person is in early recovery or if the drinker is a problem drinker, the chances for a good dating experience are dim.Though most people won’t wait two years into sobriety to start dating, keep in mind that the smell of alcohol, the taste of a kiss [with someone who’s been drinking], the clinking of ice in the glass, as well as the bar and the bar scene could be triggers.”Irene Carroll, a North Carolina–based addiction therapist, says, “Dating is just so risky for people in early in recovery, especially so if you’re considering going out with someone who isn’t sober. ” Naturally, when going out with someone who drinks, sober people often wonder when and how to reveal the fact that they don’t drink."And you should feel comfortable having whatever you want.
A good stiff drink should help to take the edge off, right?
IT'S DIFFICULT TO FIND SOBER PEOPLE TO DATEAs a non-drinker, I'm not opposed to dating people who like the occasional libation. I might be sober because I'm allergic, don't like the taste, have religious objections, am in AA, or just don't want to waste the calories.
Lest you think I'm exaggerating, let me elaborate... YOUR DATE IS FASCINATED THAT YOU DON'T DRINK - AND WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT ITThe "why" here doesn't matter.
When I first decided to get sober, I told my fiancé, “I think I am going to go to AA and quit the booze for good.” His reply: “Awww, I’m gonna lose my drinking buddy? ”As you may expect, that relationship imploded shortly thereafter.
So, at the age of 38, single for the first time since I was 25, I was newly sober, heartbroken, and absolutely befuddled.